Journal Entries

Why Do Fathers Leave but Mothers Rarely Do? | Fatherlessness, Therapy & What I’ve Learned

Fatherlessness is one of the biggest issues I see in therapy, in schools, and in society as a whole. I’ve met countless men who carry the scars of growing up without their fathers — and many who are now struggling with the idea of being absent from their own children’s lives.
At the same time, I’ve been a sperm donor, and I’ve seen how some families — especially lesbian couples — make a deliberate choice to raise children without a father figure. That’s very different from abandonment, but it still raises the same fundamental question: what does it mean for a child to grow up without a dad?
What strikes me most is the imbalance. The statistics on fatherlessness are everywhere — yet when I searched for why mothers abandon their children, I found almost nothing. It’s so rare it barely appears in the research. So why do men leave, but women almost never do?
In this video, I share my personal experiences, the stories I’ve seen in therapy, the patterns I witnessed working in schools, and the limited research that exists. This isn’t about blame — it’s about starting a conversation we need to have.
If this resonates with you, please share your thoughts in the comments. Let’s talk openly about fatherlessness, responsibility, and what we can do to break the cycle.
We hope you enjoy and do not forget to like and subscribe.
https://linktr.ee/cassimkaweesa
Substack/weekly blog is cassimkaweesa.substack.com
Get in touch with me via: Malemindscounselling.com
Instagram: cassimkaweesaofficial
Twitter: Cassim Kaweesa
#Fatherlessness #Therapy #Parenting #AbsentFathers #MentalHealth #Family

He’s 14, She’s 24: Legally Abused, But He Says He Enjoyed It - Boys, Abuse, and the Silent Impact on Adult Relationships

He’s 14, She’s 24: Legally Abused, But He Says He Enjoyed It - Boys, Abuse, and the Silent Impact on Adult RelationshipsI’m sitting across from a client, sometimes a grown adult, sometimes a teenager. They share something like, “I’ve always liked older women,” or “My first sexual experience was with someone much older.” I ask for a little more detail. Sometimes the client shares that the person was a parent, an uncle, or an adult family friend. Other times, it’s a non-family adult, thier best friends older sister, a girl they started talking to on snap or someone in their late 20s or 30s they met in a shop.You might be surprised, and even shocked, at how many boys and men I’ve sat across from in therapy who were, by legal definitions, sexually assaulted as children or teenagers, yet describe the experience as one of the best sexual experiences of their lives. They say they would do it again in a heartbeat, and they don’t identify it as traumatic. In contrast, I have never, in my counselling practice, heard a female client describe a similar scenario in that way. This raises an important question: if a boy or young man is sexually abused but does not perceive it as traumatic or a violation, does it still affect him?At first glance, these statements seem innocuous, even consensual. But as a psychotherapist, I know that early sexual contact with an adult carries complex psychological dynamics. The adult-child power imbalance is central: children’s brains, particularly in areas governing impulse control, emotional regulation, and relational reasoning, are still developing. Even when a boy experiences pleasure, excitement, or curiosity during these encounters, the experience can disrupt healthy sexual, emotional, and relational development.The full blog is at my substack cassimkaweesa.substack.com
 
We hope you enjoy and do not forget to like and subscribe. https://linktr.ee/cassimkaweesa
Substack/weekly blog is cassimkaweesa.substack.com
Get in touch with me via: Malemindscounselling.com
Instagram: cassimkaweesaofficial
Twitter: Cassim Kaweesa

From Male Escort to Author: The Men Who Helped Me Design My Emotional and Pyschological Blueprint

This week I spent the time talking about some of the men who have helped me change my life, if you have any questions you would some answers to, drop it in the comment section.
We hope you enjoy and do not forget to like and subscribe. https://linktr.ee/cassimkaweesa Substack/weekly blog is cassimkaweesa.substack.com Get in touch with me via: Malemindscounselling.com
Instagram: cassimkaweesaofficial
Twitter: Cassim Kaweesa

My Girlfriend keeps rejecting me

In this episode I spend the time going through some questions posted on the studentforum website. One of which is about being rejected sexually in a relationship.
We hope you enjoy and do not forget to like and subscribe. https://linktr.ee/cassimkaweesa
Substack/weekly blog is cassimkaweesa.substack.com
Get in touch with me via: Malemindscounselling.com

What Is Coming Out? Do I Have to Come Out? And Am I Even Gay, Bi, Bi-curious or Queer

Coming out isn’t just a one-time event — it’s a lifelong process. But what does it actually mean? And do you even have to do it?In this podcast, we explore:
What “coming out” really means.
Common fears and questions men have before they come out.
The hidden mental health toll of staying in the closet.
Why coming out can bring freedom for some — and risk for others.
How to start by “coming out” to yourself before telling anyone else.
If you’ve ever asked yourself “Am I gay? Bi? Bi-curious? Do I even need to come out?” — this conversation is for you.
Listen now to understand the truth about coming out, the pressures men face, and how to move towards living authentically — at your own pace.
We hope you enjoy and do not forget to like and subscribe. https://linktr.ee/cassimkaweesa
Substack/weekly blog is cassimkaweesa.substack.com Get in touch with me via: Malemindscounselling.com
Instagram: cassimkaweesaofficial
Twitter: Cassim Kaweesa

The Hidden Mental and Emotional Load of Teenage boys and Men Caring for Family Member

In the UK, there are about 2.0 million male unpaid carers, making up roughly 40–42% of all informal carers .
Here’s a clearer breakdown:
Total unpaid carers: Around 5.0–5.8 million across the UK 
Male vs Female: Approximately 2.0 million males and 3.0 million females are providing unpaid care .
Proportion of caregivers: In England and Wales, about 7.6% of males and 10.4% of females report providing unpaid care 
That means 2 in every 5 unpaid carers are men .
Male Minds Counselling – Therapy for men and boys who’ve grown up in silence. malemindscounselling.com
malemindscounselling@gmail.com
In-person and online therapy available

Why Can’t She Just Get Over It? It’s Been Months- Understanding Infidelity from Her Perspective

When a woman discovers she’s been cheated on, it’s rarely just about the betrayal — it’s about everything the betrayal represents.
In this episode, I break down what infidelity does to a woman emotionally, psychologically, and even physically. Drawing from my experience as a male therapist — and founder of Male Minds Counselling — I explain why cheating cuts so deeply, and why “just saying sorry” isn’t enough.
We’ll explore:🔹 Why infidelity can trigger trauma🔹 How childhood, culture, and conditioning shape her response🔹 What many men don’t understand about emotional safety🔹 Why she might still be in pain, even months or years later🔹 The difference between guilt and shame in healing🔹 What real repair looks like after trust is broken
Whether you’re a man trying to understand your partner’s pain, or a woman trying to feel seen in your healing process — this video offers a bridge of understanding.
🧠 For therapy sessions or more info: [Your website]📍 Based in Reading, Berkshire | Male Minds Counselling👥 Counselling for men, women, and couples
#Infidelity #Relationships #TherapyForMen #BlackTherapist #MaleMindsCounselling #TrustIssues #HealingAfterCheating #EmotionalIntelligence #CouplesTherapy #MensMentalHealth

Having a father as a sex offender and Why does a boy seeing his father get arrested f**k him up

What happens to a boy when the man he looks up to is labelled a sex offender? What kind of damage does it do when a child watches his father get arrested — shamed, handcuffed, and taken away?
In this podcast, I break down the long-term emotional, psychological, and identity wounds that boys carry when their fathers are convicted of sex offences. This isn’t just about crime — it’s about shame, silence, confusion around masculinity, and the deep fear of becoming "just like him."
We’ll explore: The guilt and shame children carry (even when they’ve done nothing wrong)
Why watching a father’s arrest is more than just a memory — it’s a turning point How this experience affects boys’ views on sex, trust, authority, and themselves
The silent suffering most people never see
Whether you’re a professional, a parent, or someone who’s lived this reality, this video opens up the hard conversation most people avoid.
Listen. Share. Start the conversation.
Male Minds Counselling – Therapy for men and boys who’ve grown up in silence. malemindscounselling.com malemindscounselling@gmail.com
In-person and online therapy available
 
#MaleMinds #TherapyForMen #FatherWound #SexOffenderImpact #GenerationalShame #Masculinity #CounsellingForMen #TraumaHealing

What Every Adopted Teenage Boy & Man Should Know Before Searching

“I Found My Birth Mother… But It Didn’t Heal Me. It Broke Me in a Different Way.”
In this powerful and honest episode, I explore the emotional reality behind adoption reunions — especially for adopted boys and men. We often imagine that finding our birth parents will bring closure, peace, or a sense of identity. But the truth can be far more complicated. What if your birth parent doesn’t remember things the same way? What if they don’t want to talk about the past? What if the answers you’ve been chasing leave you feeling even more lost?
This episode is for adopted men, adoptive parents, therapists, and anyone who’s been affected by adoption. I talk about the deep emotional impact of adoption, the unspoken grief, and the questions we rarely feel safe enough to ask out loud. If you’ve ever felt like something’s missing, or if you’re thinking about searching for your birth family — watch this first.
Read the full blog on Substack: https://cassimkaweesa.substack.com Website: www.cassimkaweesa.com Instagram: @cassimkaweesaofficial Twitter/X: @CassimKaweesa All Links: https://linktr.ee/cassimkaweesa
Don’t forget to like, subscribe, and share if this helped you or someone you know!

How Men Can Move From Shame to Support – Mental Health in the Workplace Part 2

In part 2, we explore how men can move from isolation and shame to receiving real mental health support—starting right in the workplace. And how work places can help with this. Many men struggle in silence, fearing judgment, stigma, or the risk of appearing “weak.” But change is possible.
We’ll talk about: Why shame stops men from seeking help
How workplace culture can either silence or support mental health conversations The role of leaders, colleagues, and HR in creating psychologically safe environments
Practical steps men can take to access support and look after their well-being
What real support looks like—not just awareness days, but action If you're a man struggling with mental health, or someone who wants to support men better at work, this video is for you.
Don’t forget to subscribe for more content on men’s mental health and emotional wellbeing.
 
#MensMentalHealth #WorkplaceWellbeing #ShameToSupport #MentalHealthAwareness #MaleMindsCounselling Let’s Connect: Website: www.cassimkaweesa.com Cassimotive Hoodie: Cassimotive Store Instagram: @cassimkaweesaofficial Twitter/X: @CassimKaweesa All Links: https://linktr.ee/cassimkaweesa Don’t forget to like, subscribe, and share if this helped you or someone you know!